Marriage is a wonderful thing but, just like every wonderful and powerful thing in the world. Marriage can make you leave in heaven or in hell,depending on whether you get in right or Wrong.
There are so many books out there about marriage. Unfortunately,that doesn’t reduce our divorce rate.
Hopefully, this content will help a few people to get there union right,as i will be sharing with you why i believe is the first thing you should do before you get married.
Now,take a moment to think about it.
Why do we have so much trouble in our relationships with others, especially in Marriage ?
In my opinion, i think it’s primarily because we don’t love ourselves enough before we demand that other people should love us.
In my opinion, the very first thing you should do before getting married is to love yourself.
As little as this sounds,it can be the beginning and end of troubles in a marital union.
You think about it,
why do we demand so much attention from our partners?, why do we complain that they don’t appreciate our looks or efforts?, why do we want them to worship us?, why do we cheat?, why do we fight?
At the root of all these is an important problem we hardly confront, which is the lack of Self-love.
- First, when people don’t love themselves,they demand too much of love from others.
As they want other people to fill up the big hole in there heart and because we are humans,we are not capable of giving much of anything, including love.
Nobody can give you all the love you need to be happy. The only way to deal with this is to have a good self-image that makes you happy with yourself.
If two partners are happy with themselves ,the little love they give each other would be enough to make them happy.
Now don’t get me wrong, we all need some external validation and love but, the more of it we need, the less happiness we have Because, nobody is capable of giving us all the love and validation we need.
You must give yourself a good dose of it,so that, the little others gives you will be enough to make you happy.
- You can’t give love if you don’t have love,yourself
I have two parents, of cause, that’s not News, as everyone has two parents.
Now what is News worthy, is that my mother loves herself so much, while my father unknowingly to him really don’t like himself that much.
Guess who is happier? you know it,it’s my mom but, not just that, guess who loves most? you also got that right,my mom
Now, my mom is a definition of love. She loves,she loves,she loves her husband,children and even love strangers.
There is this latin statement that goes like,Nemo dat quod non habet, which simply means, you can’t give what you don’t have
Stop trying to get love if you don’t love yourself because you are trying to find love when you don’t really love yourself, you may get a temporal love but,you won’t be able to keep it,the reason why you won’t be able to keep love is because,love is reciprocal except you are planning to marry an angel because, who ever you want to marry wants you to love him or her in return
If you are not capable of doing this, you can’t keep anyone.to get love,you must know how to give love,to be able to give love you must learn how to love yourself first.
- When people don’t love themselves they become selfish
People who love themselves can sacrifice their ego and conveniences for others because,they already have a good self-image and coming low for others won’t really make them feel weak.
if there is a good definition of love then,it should be selflessness
if there is anyone who truly love someone be sure he or she first love him or herself
if there is anyone who loves herself be sure she would be able to make sacrifices for others
if you don’t love yourself you can’t bury your ego to make sacrifices for others
how then,can you leave in a marital union with someone else.
- When people don’t love themselves,they cheat others
A quick background check on people who end up becoming evil are usually people who lack love in there early childhood days because,this people lack love they don’t love themselves either and because, they don’t love themselves they don’t find it difficult to hurt other people,while most people will think that, it takes more courage to go around and sleep with everybody,it’s actually a result of low self esteem which originated from lack of self-love.
- People who don’t love themselves have unhealthy jealousy
While some dose of jealousy is good in a relationship, unhealthy jealousy isn’t
but,because many people don’t love themselves they want to do all they can to do what they can not,
what you can’t do is to monitor every step of another adult,keep them from cheating or keep them from leaving you.
If they want to do any of these,you can’t stop them from doing it but because most people don’t love their own selves,they are not secure,because they are not secure,they think if someone leaves them they will perish,
No! you won’t but, you need to love yourself to really believe you won’t perish if anyone leaves you .
Now you know you have to love yourself before you can get a great marriage, how do you know if you love yourself?
Very simple,how much of happiness do you derive from other people’s opinions and validations,
If you derive 50% of happiness from what others say of you,
If you do most things to make people say nice things about you,
If you are not happy being alone ,
If your life is centered around people’s good comments on social media
If you often think that what you wear or the materials you use will make you a better or happier person
You might want to check yourself.
The conclusion of the whole matter is this, life can be a better place,if two people who marry each other have self love.
if i love myself and you love yourself, we can both give love to each other.
If i don’t love myself and you don’t love yourself,we can not give true love,
if we both have self love,we could both make sacrifices for each other and every other person that comes our way,
if we both have self love,we could both expect little from each other and since no human being is capable of much of anything. the little you give me will make me happy while,the little i give you will make you happy.
Now,if you love to have a good marriage, love yourself and marry someone who loves him or herself.
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